I tend to run hot and cold. I tend to obsessively do something until I cannot longer stand it and then I’m indifferent to it. And I don’t mean this in a mild, healthy way. I mean this in a ‘must force herself to stop and do something, anything else.’

This is what causes me to hop onto World of Warcraft every 3 to 5 months, start a new character, rush them to level 58/62/76 and then just drop them. This is how I read a 1,000+ book in a single sitting. This is why on the new BioWare Social Network, I’m the third most active poster with over 700 posts in 17 days.

My gaming happens in spurts and spikes. I played through Jade Empire and both Knights of the Old Republic in a single sitting. I played through Baldur’s Gate II in three days. It’s frightening how quickly I can transform into a creature whose only thoughts are ‘game, shower, game, sleep, game.’ I’m a consumer in the purest sense of the word; not the robotic, rational decision makers of economics, but a person that gorges themselves on a product.

But it doesn’t last. After hitting level 62 in two weeks, I’m worn to a nub. I could not force myself to log-on. After finishing with Risen, I’ve tried to get into Machinarium. It’s a good game. I want to finish it, take lots of pictures, and tell you all about it. Only every time I start the game, I look at the playful and artistic backgrounds, listen to the great music, and start thinking about the interesting puzzles, and somehow will be incredibly, unaccountably bored.

This might be hard to imagine, but if I try to force myself to play a game after I hit my saturation point, I experience physical discomfort. My insides ache. If I’m excited about a game, I crave it. I will find myself obsessively thinking about it while trying to read, write, work, or study.

You might be saying to yourself, “That sounds unhealthy.”

Yeah, that it is. As mentioned above, it’s not something that applies just to games. I once sat down and watched the first three seasons of Babylon 5 in one sitting (66 hours). I finally crashed, and when I woke up, I had no interest in the rest of the story. Two years later, the DVD collection still sits in the back of my cabinet gathering dust.

I desire stability; I’m not fond of obsession or mental exhaustion. I put limits on my gaming, mostly, and push myself to game more when I don’t want to.



As to what prompted this entry, look at the picture at the top. Dragon Age: Origins. I’m an administrator on the wiki. I’ve been on the forums for five years now. It’s my favorite gaming genre by my favorite company and it looks to be one of the best games this decade.

This is me, hands folded in my lap, saying that I’m not that excited about the game. Lies. To say I’m excited would be an understatement. To say I’m foaming at the mouth might be closer to the truth. A month ago, I learned that the game could last 120 hours and my gut churned so hard, I could have crapped butter.

I’ve worked out for about an hour and thirty minutes each day this week, gotten a full nights rest, and will stock up on raw vegetables and fruits to munch on. Thankfully, my cats will walk in front of the screen if they get hungry.